"Killer poet caught on West Side"

As much as I love the dissonance of this headline ("Killer poet caught on West Side"), I can't help but think of the dire effect this news story might have on NEA funding.

Overheard in the Oval Office today after the official afternoon nap, upon hearing the news via a short briefing: "See? See? This is the sort of people we're supporting when we fully fund the NEA! Murderers! Felons! Druggies!"